Monday, August 28, 2006

The curious case of the disappearing Darp

Today, on this 27th day of August in the year of our Lord 2006, Mathew Henderson-Hau aka Darp proved conclusively what the White Nationalists have always known, he is all mouth and trousers, a barber’s cat (all piss and wind) and a big girl’s blouse After bragging for weeks that he would turn the Sydney Forum into a “circus” the lead clown failed to show. Not only did he fail to show but even when INVITED he failed to appear. Yes, that’s right, you read it correctly. After waiting with great anticipation for the filthy shower of Red scum that is FDB to arrive at the Tempe venue, one of the guests, a certain Jim from Queensland, called Henderson on his mobile phone around lunchtime enquiring as to when the gathered throng might bear witness to the legendary, Trans Tasman, metallic gonads of Darp (to be precise he was asked when he would roll into town on his steel balls) and was informed abruptly “We’ll be there at Four!”

When Four o’clock came and went with still nary a sign of the recalcitrant Darp, Jim called him again and a most humorous conversation unfolded with Henderson totally on the back foot and with no decent comebacks at all, so, so very much different my friends from his confident, wisecracking online persona. Jim put him on the spot with many incisive and pertinent questions. Did he require CRC lubricant to smooth the action of his depilated testicles? Did he require the Sydney Forum guests to pass the hat around and raise the cab fare to Tempe? Why would he not grab this golden opportunity to lecture the crowd with his thoughts on the boundless benefits of Multiculturalism? Why the sudden shyness? Oh, they (FDB) had employed a “different approach” this year. Yes, they certainly HAD said Jim, they hadn’t shown up at all! No need, said Darp, they obtained everything they needed on Friday night! Precisely how this related to his total non appearance at the Sydney Forum was not explained.

The gutless little worm twisted this way and that, initially feigning ignorance about who he was talking to, where he might be and the significance of the event, then turning to threats regarding devastatingly useful intelligence apparently gleaned from “skulking about Chippendale on Friday night”. Is “skulking” to be taken as a Darpist euphemism for “stalking”, “spying” or other illegal activities? He then refused to converse any longer but left the line open for several minutes after stating “Just keep talking”, probably just to soak up Jim’s phone credit.

But strangely, about half an hour later he phoned again, possibly after squirming with the humiliation of being revealed as an invertebrate coward, informing the White Nationalists that he could be found with his friends at a Fitzroy Street Marrickville address. This was swiftly followed by a text message confirming the details. Despite the obvious misgivings that this was almost certainly a trap of some design, five Whitelaw Towers staff members, including two members of the Queensland bureau, were immediately despatched to confront Henderson and his motley crew of misfits.

Upon arriving at the address they were confronted by a very low rent facility, replete with low rent crowd, in an industrial area. It was basically an old warehouse or factory premises being used as a Punk Rock venue. Jim and one other entered the premises in search of Darp while the other three waited outside ready for a quick ‘dust off’ operation and possible retreat in the face of overwhelming enemy forces. They need not have been concerned. Darp was nowhere to be seen and the sixty to seventy patrons were nothing more than a bunch of skinny teenage Punks out for a good day of music, booze and drugs.

Strangely, Jim and his mate felt right at home within the venue as it was, according to them, a one hundred percent WHITE crowd with many attractive females. In fact it was the first place they had been to during their Sydney stay that was NOT Multicultural! Ironic really, considering the claimed purpose of the gig was as some sort of benefit or support show for a fallen Anti-Racist activist! The American accent of the singer was as exotic and “enriching” as it got. Despite his rabble rousing comments between songs about “Neo-Nazis” and “Fascists” being just down the road at the Sydney Forum and how they must be “smashed”, the kids were just there to dress up in their raggedy clothes, check each other out, bang their heads to loud music and get shit faced. Two of the Whitelaw boys commented that the music was cool and they’d have liked to have stayed for the gig, the Five Dollar door charge was certainly more than reasonable, but after a brief photo opportunity at the front door the five lads went back to Tempe.

Proof that your average “Punk” or “Anarchist” would simply not know what to do when confronted with a real White Nationalist, in their face and on their doorstep, was obtained when a couple of the lads, dressed in WN regalia, and at point blank range, taunted about a dozen or so standing around the entrance. They quite simply just didn’t know where to look and the expressions on their faces ranged from absolute bewilderment to abject terror. Please get me outta here. Tragically funny and the lads actually felt genuinely sorry for these young “Punks” who talk so tough yet look like frightened girls when faced with reality.

So what of Darp, gentle reader? Well, he obviously thought this stunt a jolly jape and a useful diversion from his good self. He has since utterly refused to answer his phone or hung up immediately he realises he is talking to a White Nationalist again. But DID he do this as mere wild goose chase or did he really think that the Whitelaw staff members would get stomped by an army of angry Anarchist Punks? Hmmm…

MUCH more to come on this story.

Watch this space.


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